warning...this is a major complaining update so beware, there's major bitching ahead.

Well, Mom had a surprise for me when I came home Thursday.


She's engaged to Joe.

At the time I was really happy for her [I still am, she deserves this more than anyone], and at times I still am pleased about it, but there are times when I feel like curling up in a hole and planning possible ways to put the wedding off farther. It's a really bizarre feeling I have right now, and very hard to explain. I don't like it that much. In fact, not at all. I might be scared because it'll never be "mom and me" again. It'll be three. I like Joe, don't get me wrong. I just don't really know him. Not enough to be family with. My mom thinks that just because I'm 17 and I go out with my friends, I prefer my social life to bonding with her and her now fiancee. I've never met my stepsister-to-be and she's 30 years old and lives in Arizona with her husband. My mom has met his whole family and I don't even know all of the people that are soon to become my relatives. I feel so aloof, like the odd number in a jumble of evens. Sorry to get all mathematical on you.

And plus I wanted to go to the CIA show tonight with some friends but no one called. Fuck. I really wanted to see Trash Can Derby. Oh well, there's always the Cobalt show *gags*.

It seems like I'm always the one that has to set shit up with my friends in order to see them [except for a select few that know who they are] and that really bugs me sometimes, to be truly honest. Yes, if you can't tell already, I'm in kind of a bad mood.

And none of these ♥ things today.

-Rachel.